Bacon Blog Stalker

Let’s start with the basics.  The Bacon vocabulary.  Bacon is delicious strips of juicy, pork heaven.  Served often at breakfast with eggs (except at my house it is served 24 hours). Bacon is a cured meat prepared from a big fat pink piggy (or as I call them hogg).  One might ask how bacon is cured.  Simply put, it is cured using an enormous amount of salt (or preferably brine for delicatessen bacon).  This results in the freshest bacon possible (otherwise known as “green bacon”).  The green bacon is dried for weeks on end or months in the coldest of temperatures.  After the green bacon is dried it is either boiled or smoked.  Then it is ready for the true baconista who will prepare or enjoy the delicatessen in their favorite dish. 

Then there is baconiphany.  Baconiphany is a sudden, intuitive perception of a new recipe with bacon as the key ingredient, usually initiated by a deep craving for the intense flavor and aroma that accompanies bacon when fried.  

A bacon stalker is an individual who looks at your blog daily with a critical eye, harassing you to post your next blog, while not showing consideration towards the baconista’s creative process.  Sometimes a bacon stalker can be a bacon beacon.  Who you might ask? That one poor guy in your school; that guy who is 45 and still not married the guy in high school who all the fat and ugly chicks got crushes on, and was too nice of a guy to say no to a date with any of them.  Now that bacon beacon is on match.com and his profile lists nothing about his bacon obsession!  Deceiving if you ask me!

Have you met a “baco-o-hootchie” which is essentially a loser that does anything for bacon and is obsessed with all bacon flavored products (i.e bacon floss, a bacon lip balm, bacon cologne, bacon magnets, bacon scratch n’ sniff shirts (yes these exist), and all bacon items that your little clogged arteries could imagine!

Lastly we have bacontopia, a state of well being or realm in which you find a bacon culinary treat that leaves you in state of well being a “ecstasy coma” if you will.  Next blog update will be a list of a few of my recent bacon culinary delights...  Get ready for complete bacon bud satisfaction!

Xoxoxo, Baconista

First Crush

Just as our bodies grow as we get older, so do our feelings. They change and mature as we become preteens, teenagers, and adults. They might start off as a small crush but once the feelings mature they can almost turn into an infatuation of sorts.  I noticed mine, when I smelled peppery smoke as if a aura was floating around my crush building for hours, the delicate tempting pink color, the heat, and once I gave into my crush the urge for more built.  My taste changed as years went by but my love for my crush continued to evolve.

It was an exciting time in my life because I was beginning to understand how it feels to like — to like a lot!  To like to the point of no control.  Where every waking moment my crush was my first thought.  However, I was not alone.  There were many guys and even girls who thought of my crush as soon as they opened their eyes.  When would I see my crush, when could I indulge with my crush, and when could I get more of my crush.  I was beginning to get obsessed with my crush. It was gluttony at its finest.

When I saw my crush, a part of me felt embarrassed and I wanted to run away and hide. Another part of me imagined my crush noticing me and sharing those same feelings.  I could feel my face get flush, my heart begin to skip a pace, the words on the tip of my tongue could not escape.  I could feel the saliva build up in my mouth as my crush wanted me to indulge in those gut wrenching urges.  I embraced those feelings every time and pressed my lips against the most delicate pink color I had ever laid eyes on. Every time to my dismay my crush left me wanting more.  Yearning more.  Dreaming of more.

Crushes are like the romantic love adults feel later in life.  Love they can't live without.  Loves that which you can spend your entire life with. And in a way, a crush can help open our eyes to the world.  Explore things that have not been explored before. They help us understand which qualities we notice and like — and maybe a few that we don't like.  My crush has been bacon since day one.  

I can't live without bacon, I will spend eternity loving bacon, and exploring every bacon, cut, flavor and smoke known to man.  I am your baconista and I welcome you to share your crush on bacon with me at http://www.ihearthogg.blogspot.com

xoxo, Baconista