Bacon Blog Stalker

Let’s start with the basics.  The Bacon vocabulary.  Bacon is delicious strips of juicy, pork heaven.  Served often at breakfast with eggs (except at my house it is served 24 hours). Bacon is a cured meat prepared from a big fat pink piggy (or as I call them hogg).  One might ask how bacon is cured.  Simply put, it is cured using an enormous amount of salt (or preferably brine for delicatessen bacon).  This results in the freshest bacon possible (otherwise known as “green bacon”).  The green bacon is dried for weeks on end or months in the coldest of temperatures.  After the green bacon is dried it is either boiled or smoked.  Then it is ready for the true baconista who will prepare or enjoy the delicatessen in their favorite dish. 

Then there is baconiphany.  Baconiphany is a sudden, intuitive perception of a new recipe with bacon as the key ingredient, usually initiated by a deep craving for the intense flavor and aroma that accompanies bacon when fried.  

A bacon stalker is an individual who looks at your blog daily with a critical eye, harassing you to post your next blog, while not showing consideration towards the baconista’s creative process.  Sometimes a bacon stalker can be a bacon beacon.  Who you might ask? That one poor guy in your school; that guy who is 45 and still not married the guy in high school who all the fat and ugly chicks got crushes on, and was too nice of a guy to say no to a date with any of them.  Now that bacon beacon is on match.com and his profile lists nothing about his bacon obsession!  Deceiving if you ask me!

Have you met a “baco-o-hootchie” which is essentially a loser that does anything for bacon and is obsessed with all bacon flavored products (i.e bacon floss, a bacon lip balm, bacon cologne, bacon magnets, bacon scratch n’ sniff shirts (yes these exist), and all bacon items that your little clogged arteries could imagine!

Lastly we have bacontopia, a state of well being or realm in which you find a bacon culinary treat that leaves you in state of well being a “ecstasy coma” if you will.  Next blog update will be a list of a few of my recent bacon culinary delights...  Get ready for complete bacon bud satisfaction!

Xoxoxo, Baconista